It’s Time for a Different Conversation.
Because it is possible to have more.
Because women’s leadership experiences matter.
And because when women gather to talk about what’s possible,
things get REALLY interesting.
Discover the Power of Confluence
(This is the good stuff.)
Dear Trailblazing Woman,
Are you at the peak of your career, yet still feel the relentless pull of the ever-evolving world around you?
Do you believe in the transformative strength of solidarity among women, lifting each other as we climb?
Have you asked yourself lately why you still aren’t exactly experiencing life the way you really want?
If so, then welcome to the Confluence Collective™ Retreat – a sanctuary for women like you, who understand that true leadership means continual growth and meaningful connection.
In this fast-paced world, where change is the only constant, it’s easy to find ourselves tethered to narratives that no longer serve us. At Confluence, we invite you to put yourself in a room where it’s possible to break free from those confines and craft new stories that resonate in our workplaces, communities, and beyond.
Together, we’ll demonstrate the power of rewriting narratives, not just for ourselves, but for the countless women and allies who champion our cause.
Over two and a half transformative days, you’ll delve deep into self-discovery, examining the threads of your life that may be holding you back.
Surrounded by a tribe of accomplished, forward-thinking women, you’ll find inspiration, support, and a shared commitment to creating a better future for ourselves and generations to come.
The journey of leadership is perpetual, especially in a world forever changed by the pandemic. Now, more than ever, our collective efforts are needed to shape a more inclusive, equitable reality. Together, let’s embark on this journey of growth, empowerment, and confluence.
Imagine…
- Putting yourself in the heart of New York City where everything is possible.
- Engaging in enriching sessions and discussions, sparking new ideas and perspectives.
- Connecting with like-minded women who share your passion for change, forming bonds that transcend the confines of the retreat.
- Embracing moments of introspection and reflection, uncovering insights that illuminate your path forward.
- Leaving empowered, rejuvenated, and equipped with the tools and insights to enact meaningful change in your life and beyond.
Are you ready to redefine your narrative and empower others along the way?
Hi, I’m Mary Lou Kayser.
Most professional women spend our entire lives working hard to succeed within systems and frameworks we didn’t design. Over the years, we develop specialized knowledge and insights about leadership and life that have tremendous value to a wider audience — yet we never do anything with it.
Too often, we keep all that valuable knowledge and wisdom hidden from view. Too often, it walks out the door when we move on to a different career, face a major life transition like divorce or death, or we retire from traditional work.This is why intentionally carving time to gather with other women — away from the constant external demand for our energy and time — is so important. Part of my mission is to facilitate conversations among smart, savvy, successful women like you about how we can build a culture of success for our businesses, careers, and leadership practices using new paradigms and belief systems that can move us and younger generations forward for years to come. We are at a critical time in our collective history where the need for well-developed, thoughtful, and wise leadership from women is at an all-time high.I look forward to building a powerful future with you!
Question — What messages about success did you absorb as a girl?
I’ll never forget the time my dad told me no daughter of his was going to become a Yuppie (young urban professional). It was the summer between my freshman and sophomore years at college. I was 19 years old. One night I announced over dinner that becoming a Yuppie was my professional goal. (It was the 80s after all — everyone wanted to be a Yuppie.)
I had dreams of getting a job I loved in a big city, making lots of money, wearing power clothes, living in my own apartment, and enjoying a fun social life with friends.
My dad grumbled something I couldn’t hear and took another bite of his dinner. Flames of shame burned my cheeks. You’d think I said I wanted to join a street gang.
I was disappointed by how quick he was to crush my dream as if I was wrong for having desires that didn’t reflect his world view.
Women Are Notorious People Pleasers
It’s hard for me to admit this, but my need to please my father won out that night. I internalized his protests about the Yuppie Lifestyle and extinguished that aspiration for myself.
Looking back on that night, I cringe. I loved my dad dearly. Like most women, I could write volumes about father-daughter relationships. All these years later, lingering feelings of shame and vulnerability bubble to the surface as I recall that memory.
Unfortunately, what happened that night is far too representative of what many highly accomplished, successful women continue to do — shrink ourselves to please someone else. And often without realizing that’s what we’re doing.
Shrinking so that:
- Men feel comfortable
- We won’t be perceived as loud, bossy, or obnoxious
- We can remain our father’s “perfect little girl”
Yikes.
Back then I didn’t have the language or agency I have now to name what was happening and to call him and myself out so that we could both learn from the situation and grow forward.
Thankfully I have that language today and can honor that episode of my life as part of my story.
By many cultural measures, I’m a highly accomplished professional with a laundry list of achievements to my name including a masters degree, best selling books, an international podcast with more than 500 episodes, two incredible adult children, and a network of fantastic people.
And yet…I’m occasionally haunted by comments like the ones my father made all those years ago. Which surprises and tells me — there’s still work to be done.
I suspect you have moments like these, too.
Moments when, even as a woman of influence and distinction, you are triggered by someone or something that makes you stop and wonder:
Why am I still bothered by old narratives about success I learned as a girl? Why am I so hard on myself? Why do so many women continue to hold ourselves back even when we are “making it?”
Until we acknowledge the limiting narratives shaping our thoughts, beliefs, and actions, we can’t begin the work of creating new empowering ones.
When Perfectionism Knocks…
Across the world, boys are taught to be brave, girls are taught to be perfect.
But I’ve found that when we’re able to relinquish the punishing need for perfection — or simply punch perfectionism in the face — we can find freedom, joy and everything else we want in life.
So many of us know what we should do (e.g. become more visible, lean in, speak up, etc.) yet we don’t do it.
How do successful women overcome the gap between knowing what’s the right thing to do and actually doing it?
It begins with taking full stock of where we are right now.
“The most important thing I ever did was own what I wanted instead of listening to other people’s advice.” – Katie Rae, Managing Director of startup accelerator TechStars
What so many of us crave — like a great piece of dark chocolate or a hot mug of steaming goodness on a cold winter’s night — is to construct a life of our own design.
- Speaking our truth to power
- Thanking ourselves for how far we’ve come
- Giving ourselves credit and grace for all we have accomplished so far
- While wielding our swords against the negativity that keeps showing up in our heads
So how do we do that?
It starts with casting aside outdated thinking once and for all — which is the only way to accelerate progress for women.
It also includes having friends come with us on the journey.
Consider this:
When was the last time you formed a genuine friendship with another ambitious woman?
A partnership where you both fiercely support and champion each other’s dreams.
If it’s been a while, you’re not alone.
In a world rapidly changing post-pandemic, women need each other more than ever.
Together, we can challenge old norms and create new frameworks for success.
While systemic change may take time, we can start by altering how we view ourselves and our approach to transformation.
It’s time to unite, learn, and take action towards different outcomes, emphasizing the unmatched value of being in the presence of like-minded women.
It’s time for Confluence.
There is so much power in finding and joining forces with a small group of women who — in this chapter of your life — are vibing at the same energy level and are aligned with the same mindset as you.
Confluence Collective™ Success Spotlight:
Traci Esteve
Traci Esteve, Director Information Risk Management, Information Security, The Standard
Before attending the Confluence Collective™ Women’s Leadership Retreat, Traci Esteve — a highly accomplished cyber security specialist with a long success track record — was searching for answers about who she was and who she wanted to become.
After spending two and a half days at the retreat, Traci walked away with a game plan for the next iteration of her career in cyber security. Traci didn’t wait to take action — she put her game plan into play immediately which ultimately led to her current role in Information Risk Management.
Here are her three big takeaways from the retreat experience:
1. Women supporting women. The Confluence Collective™ fosters women supporting and accepting support from each other. Not only during Confluence but years after. Just last week I helped one of the other participant’s mentees identify plans to reach her career goals.
2. Envision your future and go do it. Mary Lou guides you through imagining your future and developing a plan to get there. I did it! This year I was nominated by my peers for my excellence in technical leadership. I would never have reached this level of professional accomplishment had it not been for what I did at Confluence. The impact of the retreat keeps giving!
3. The magic of storytelling. Mary Lou is a master storyteller and showed me I can embrace storytelling, too. At a recent speaking engagement, attendees told me they loved my stories!
The Confluence Collective™ Women’s Leadership Retreat
When you take your seat at the Confluence table, you are giving yourself an incredible gift. And you bring other women with you.You may not know them (yet). But the decision to sit at the table sends a signal that you’re taking your life, your leadership, and your legacy seriously. Other women will notice. And want to come with.
In short, this is the “how to create success on your terms” retreat I wish I had. It didn’t exist, so I had to create it myself.
And now I’m offering it to you.
Here’s what past PROGRAM participants have to say:
Tracy Imm
“The learning container Mary Lou creates gives you the foundation to figure out where exactly to spend your time and energy for accomplishing your goals.”
Diane Gibson
“I am really immersing myself in this program and am so glad to be a part of it. The creative juices are flowing — I so appreciate Mary Lou’s patience, technique and approach – she is a great coach and teacher!”
Heidi Piper
“Working with Mary Lou helped me sharply identify the most important places for me to focus my time so that I can grow my business strategically this year. I’m grateful for the experience she created that allowed me the time to get valuable feedback and do my best work.”
“I look out the window and I see the lights and the skyline and the people on the street rushing around looking for action, love, and the world’s greatest chocolate chip cookie, and my heart does a little dance.”
—Nora Ephron on NYC
Here’s a sneak peak of what’s in store for you at the Confluence Collective™ Retreat:
- Insight into what’s holding you back and a plan to overcome these obstacles (what’s your “Yuppie” story?)
- A supportive community to navigate current and future challenges
- Transforming old narratives to boost confidence in financial negotiations, business launches, or new directions
- The essence of true leadership and a strategy to achieve your next goals
- Strategies to deal with criticism and negativity as you advance and share your voice
- Adopting the habits of successful women for tangible results
- Recognizing your bravery and the journey you’ve embarked on so far
- Discussing your ambitions openly, free from fear of judgment
- Prioritizing self-care and reflection to fuel your future
- Identifying and following role models to maintain progress and purpose
+Plus so much more!
Spring is a fabulous time to come to New York City. Outside of the time you spend in the retreat, you will have the opportunity to take advantage of what New York offers. Restaurants, Broadway, cultural centers, etc. are all for the taking. Many retreat participants book an extra day or two following the retreat to enjoy the city.
Retreat Details
Investment: $2497*
*($500 deposit required with application.)
Retreat Investment covers cost of: all program materials; custom leadership assessment profile; instruction; and lunch both days.
All other costs, including travel and accommodations, are additional and the sole responsibility of each participant.
Due to the nature of this retreat, participation is by application only and is limited to 12 participants. Once you’re accepted into the retreat and you’ve signed the official participation agreement, you’ll receive a Welcome Message with program logistics. Retreat details will be emailed to you ahead of time.
Schedule:
Welcome Reception, Tuesday May 14, 2024 5-6 pm Eastern
Group Gatherings, Wednesday May 15 – Thursday May 16, 2024, 9 am-5 pm Eastern
Location:
Renaissance New York Midtown218 W 35th St, New York, NY 10001
Specific & Strategic Content
The retreat’s content is intentionally designed to build off the nuances and layers of participation so that you experience a rich and rewarding process from start to finish. Program materials are provided every step of the way, along with recommended resources for anyone who wants to explore concepts in more depth.
Community Focused
We believe in the power of building a strong learning community together where your ideas and contributions are encouraged and welcome. We want to ensure you get the most out of your time in the retreat. That’s why we keep cohorts small and have a specific application process in place to make sure everyone is a great fit.
Useful & Practical Applications
Theory is great, but without application it remains theory only. This retreat gives you real-world examples of concepts in action, along with plenty of time to put into practice the concepts you learn, applying them to your unique situation and desired goals.
Grounded in Best Practices of Adult Learning
All content is designed using the best of adult learning theory. This means you are ensured of experiencing world-class instruction, along with cohort dynamics that will enhance what you’re learning.
Here’s what people are saying about Mary Lou
Ellen Recko
Retired Director of Business Operations within New Business Group, Intel
Competent & Compassionate
“Mary Lou is not only someone with years of experience practicing what she preaches, she is also a great connector — compassionate and motivational at the same time. Highly recommend engaging with Mary Lou for anything related to leadership development and how to bring your best self to the game.”
Larry Bowman
Non-profit Founder, Retired Educational Leader
Purposeful
“Sometimes we forget that life is more than just our job or what we do in retirement or as we get older. Wherever we are in life we need to have a purpose and with that purpose comes a personal brand that we have used for years without knowing it. Mary Lou does a phenomenal job of helping professionals realize the value of it. I learn something new from her every time we interact!”
Claudio Toyama
Executive Coach, #1 International Bestselling Author
Friendly & Thoughtful
“Mary Lou is easy to work with and makes the learning process straightforward. I could not have achieved my big goal of turning my expertise into thought leadership without her guidance.”
Traci Esteve
Cyber Risk Management, The Standard
Generous Instruction
“Mary Lou goes the extra mile to ensure that her programs are useful and on point. She knows how to build communities fast so that everyone feels comfortable with each other. Her generous nature makes learning fun and practical!”
About Mary Lou Kayser
For more than 30 years, Mary Lou Kayser has been teaching and inspiring professionals the art and craft of building a meaningful life grounded in self-awareness, purpose, passion, writing, critical thinking, and leadership.
With a flair for big picture thinking and simplifying complex concepts, she is often referred to as a “secret weapon.” Her friendly, generous, and no-nonsense approach to working with people makes each experience useful and valuable.
Since 2014 through her popular podcast, Play Your Position, she has brought the stories of 100’s of leaders to an international audience on topics ranging from leadership to personal transformation to overcoming adversity.
From her days as a white water rafting guide on the Kenai River in Alaska to the years she devoted to formal education, she lives and breathes all things servant leadership. Today, as a bestselling 6x author, entrepreneur, podcaster, and teacher, she brings a solid track record of delivering desired results to her clients through a variety of programs and services — including this one!
Frequently Asked Questions
A final note from Mary Lou…
I’m excited you’re considering joining me for this exclusive and dynamic retreat. Your experiences as a professional woman are too valuable to be suppressed by perfectionism, held hostage by subconscious programming, locked up in files on your hard drive, or sealed in a box in your garage. The leadership adventure has been one of the greatest of my life. Because of the incredible experiences I’ve had from saying yes to my own wants and desires, and witnessing the incredible results my clients enjoy, I’ve invested a lot of time into designing this experience so you can experience a different level of success, too. Put yourself in the room and join me this spring in New York City at Confluence!
