These days, there’s a ton of talk about finding your purpose and then living it.
For many, finding your purpose is The Holy Grail of being human.
It’s a terrific sentiment, one I support.
People like Simon Sinek have made a fortune from explaining why we all must start with why.
The challenge is, of course, life doesn’t always align in a perfect little sequence of bullet points leading us blissfully toward our why. When it comes to finding your purpose and doing what you’re here to do, discovering what that is will not necessarily be simple -- or immediately apparent.
And the verb “doing” may very well be a big part of the problem for many people. (I’ll write more about that in a future post.)
For now, let’s look at the elusive nature of finding your purpose.
Finding Your Purpose Isn't a Given
For starters, you may not yet know what it is you’re here to do.
Secondly, you may have thought you found your purpose only to discover a few yards into it that no, not really, that wasn’t it.
A third possibility is you found your purpose, lived it for a spell, loved it very much, then veered away from it for any of a million different reasons. This happened to me and in a weird way, it’s one of the best things that could have happened because what I'm doing now is far more aligned with who I am at my core than what I was doing thirty years ago when I know for one hundred percent sure I was living my purpose.
Children, marriage, divorce, downsizing, up-leveling, change of heart, illness, natural disasters, death, that concert you went to at the last minute one cold autumn night… any and all of these life events can cause bumps along the road and take you away from what you truly desire to do.
You may still be searching for that one wild and precious thing you’re meant to do during your time on earth. (Apologies to Mary Oliver here for the altered reference to her brilliant question in her poem, "The Summer Day").
Stories exist of people who claim they knew from childhood why they are here and have pursued that one thing only.
They are often interviewed on TV after winning championships, buoyed by a culture that worships great achievements as examples of anything is possible when you know what you want — and why.
Just look at so and so! They found their purpose. So can you!
A more common story goes something like this.
Experiment. Fail. Refine search. Experiment again. Reflect. Switch. Experiment. Wonder if anything you do matters and maybe it’s not so much about what you do but about enjoying the smorgasbord of experiences life has to offer and getting it right once in a while?
Not Finding Your Purpose Can Feel Weird
When you can't find your purpose, it can feel at times as if everyone else has their act together, is fully living their purpose, and is satisfied to the hilt with everything in their life while you’re stumbling around in the wilderness without a map, or a compass, or a flashlight, wondering WTF is wrong with you.
Don’t beat yourself up if this scenario resonates.
Or if life events have caused you to be unmoored.
Or if you just don’t have the bandwidth right now to think about what you’re here to do because simply getting through the next hour is all you can manage.
Trust me. Your purpose is here. You’ll find it eventually because purpose has a funny way of finding you. And it probably won’t look anything like you thought it would or maybe it will be exactly what you imagined.
And maybe, just maybe, simply being and stumbling around is an essential part of your life's purpose and you’re not in any hurry to move on from the woods.
Often when you’ve stopped looking as hard as you’ve looked, there it will be. You will see it and you will feel like you're finally home. Dissatisfaction with life is often the gateway to creating something better and creating something better almost always co-stars your purpose.
If you’re fully living your purpose right now, awesome. Keep showing up to it and yourself. If you’re wandering and feeling untethered, try to enjoy the wilderness and all it offers even though it could feel unsettling.
There will be parts of that wilderness you’ll miss once you’re doing what you know with every fiber of your being you’re meant to do. Should things change again -- and odds are they will --another version of your purpose will be there waiting for you when you're ready.
