I hovered the mouse pointer over the cancel button as my mind raced back and forth between whether or not to click it.
The cancellation in question was for the flights I’d booked for my kids back in April when JetBlue offered risk-free booking for future travel — no cancellation or change penalties should travel plans change, guaranteed.
In early April, only three short weeks into the coronavirus panic, early August for the annual trek to visit my parents on the east coast seemed far enough away. Surely we’d have this mess sorted out by then. Surely we’d be traveling again. Surely people wouldn’t lose their minds or allow the monster of fear and paranoia to strangle them with its grubby hands.
I had nothing to lose, so I scheduled the trip.
Yet here we are at the end of July living in a shitshow like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Hence, why I stood in front of my computer less than an hour ago with the mouse hovering over the cancel button on JetBlue’s website as tears of disappointment and sorrow filled my eyes.
WTF America?
Really. This is the question I continue to ask myself day after day.
WTF America?
As humans, can’t we be better than what’s paraded across news outlets and social media channels and YouTube day after day?
Where is the common sense?
Where is the critical thinking?
When did everyone become so enraged and bitter and afraid?
Why are protests that are supposed to be peaceful turning into riots and blood baths?
Why are we tearing each other apart?
I understand that America has a bloody history. What country doesn’t?
I understand that there’s always been and always will be an ongoing struggle between the haves and the have nots. If you’ve ever had the honor of visiting one of the world’s art galleries and stood in front of a painting the size of the side of a city building depicting masses of poor people rising up to fight for more of their share, then you’ve witnessed the universal truth about this struggle.
I understand there will always be people who believe life should be fair when life can never be fair because that’s not how life works. Just ask the mosquito you just slapped dead on your arm before it could take a bite of your blood how fair life is.
Even with the many opportunities I’ve had in my life, I can say life hasn’t always been fair for me. I’ve been taken advantage of. Left out as a kid because I was chubby. Called cruel names. Sexually harassed. Ignored because I’m female. Overlooked because I’m no longer 25.
We’re All Losing Right Now
Show me someone — anyone — alive or dead who can stand in front of a crowd and say with 100 percent honesty that life has always been fair to them and I’ll show you how to buy a whole Bitcoin for a dollar.
Fairness — just like freedom and equality — is a wonderful ideal to work toward. But to believe that life should be fair all the time is ludicrous. To believe that any of us is owed anything is magical thinking. Universal law teaches about polarity — everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree.
Fairness is no exception. Without indecency, deception, dishonesty, and bias, fairness doesn’t exist. Whether we like to admit it or not, we have all been on the side of bad manners and bad behavior. The problem with what’s happening today is, too many people have chosen that side, which puts us all in a losing season.
No one would argue that we are at a critical point in the evolution of America. Everything right now seems to be riding on what happens on November 3, 2020 — election day. Come November 4th it’s anyone’s guess.
I tend to land in the camp of folks who look to Nature for clues. The sun will rise. The sun will set. Babies will be born. People who have lived full lives will pass on to what’s next for them. The optimist in me believes we will make better decisions. We will find common ground. We will build new systems that open doors for more people to live fully actualized lives.
My kids are adults now. They get to make their own decisions. Despite the massive measures airlines are taking to sanitize planes and make traveling as risk-free as possible; despite evidence that wearing a mask, washing hands often with soap and water, and taking care of ourselves are excellent preventive measures for reducing the spread of diseases, coronavirus or otherwise… neither of them feels comfortable flying anywhere this summer.
Because my parents are in their 80s, considered to be in the high-risk category for COVID-19, my children believe it’s better not to travel. They also believe there will be many more summers with their grandparents in the future, and they could be right. I hope they’re right. But no one knows what another year holds. Is it selfish to travel to spend time with family who live far away? Is it selfish not to? I told each of them that whatever they decided to do, I would respect their decision. I might not agree with it, but I would respect it.
Which is why I finally clicked the cancel button before curling up on the floor as I wept for the massive, heart-breaking, irrevocable loss every single American is experiencing right now in our own private, tragic ways.
