[su_quote cite=”Will Rogers”]Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. [/su_quote]
- Want to improve your relationships?
- Having trouble sleeping?
- Off track in your career?
- Coping with addiction?
- Looking to hone your leadership skills?
If you’re like many people, you’ll try to find the answers to these questions and other problems in your life by browsing Google or heading over to the self-help aisles of your favorite bookstore. The ultra hip out there just ask Siri or Alexa.
So, Is Self Help Selfish?
If we’re being honest, most of us wish we could improve certain things about ourselves. Lasting change is difficult, though, as anyone who is forced to stop binge watching “The Crown” will attest. (Wait, what? The next season doesn’t start for an entire year?! cries every Crown fan in a whiny voice as the credits roll on the season finale.)
But even the oldest of habits and character traits can be altered to varying degrees with effort and determination. (Oh look! Four glorious seasons of Grace and Frankie!)
As the great Englishwoman of letters George Eliot once said, “It is never too late to be who you might have been.”
A Little Self Help Never Hurt Nobody
In light of Ms. Eliot’s pithy observation, I don’t think a little self help now and then is selfish. In fact, the logic goes if we improve something about ourselves, then those changes can filter into the lives of people around us. More happiness | joy | positivity | add-your-own-flavor-of-self-help-outcome here isn’t a bad thing and could be seen as — dare I say it — altruistic.
BUT.
In case you’d like to reach your own conclusion about this question and the self help movement in general, here are three perspectives to consider:
- How to Protect Yourself from Bad Self Help (from Scientific American). “Self-help becomes particularly perilous whenever someone joins a group and peer pressure begins to counteract one’s better judgment.”
- How to Be Happy (from The New York Times). “Some research suggests that writing in a personal journal for 15 minutes a day can lead to a boost in overall happiness and well-being.”
- Improving Ourselves to Death (from The New Yorker) “Self-help advice tends to reflect the beliefs and priorities of the era that spawns it.”
That New Yorker article is what got me thinking about this question in the first place. I was especially intrigued with the author’s thesis regarding the way self help books mirror what people living in a particular time believe and prioritize. Recent NY times best selling titles like “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” and “You Are a Badass” suggest the more profane the book title, the more money the book will make its publisher.
Not giving a f*ck aside… There’s something inherently noble about people who sincerely want to be better at what they do and how they show up to life. Despite those who would like to see the self help movement come to a permanent end, I don’t think it’s going away any time soon. The fact that it’s as strong today as ever proves we humans are a stubborn lot when it comes to making lasting change.
And that keeps the conversation interesting!
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