One of my favorite sitcoms of all time is Seinfeld. One of my all-time favorite episodes of that quirky show is called “The Opposite.” In it, George decides that every decision he has ever made in his life has been wrong, and that his life is the exact opposite of what it should be.
George tells this to Jerry, who then suggests to George that “if every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”
At that point, George resolves to start doing the complete opposite of what he would do normally in every situation. His first “experiment” with this new mindset is with a beautiful woman he sees sitting at the diner bar. He introduces himself to her by saying, “Hi, I’m George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”
Now if I am recalling correctly what pick up lines work and what pick up lines don’t, this one would be in the latter category, a certain deal-breaker right out of the gate.
But to George’s surprise, the woman is impressed, slightly turned on, and agrees to go out on a date with him!
Aside from the brilliant humor and creative genius behind the creators and writers of Seinfeld, something else is going on here in this particular episode that points to a truth about human nature.
Dan Ariely explores this very idea in his insightful book Predictably Irrational. In it, he shares several case studies that illustrate the opposite concept that was dramatized on Seinfeld. For anyone who is fascinated by or curious about why people do the things we do — things that appear on the surface to be totally illogical and the opposite of what we should be doing — Ariely’s book is a must-read.
As a professional marketer and entrepreneur, I have learned some valuable things from Ariely’s research that I can apply to my business endeavors. Knowing that we humans are naturally impulsive, emotional, and driven from a place of wanting to feel important or included helps with all sorts of tasks including copywriting, video production, pay per click ad campaigns, and the like. While our culture is structured around reason and logic, Ariely shows time and time again that we human beings are anything but reasonable and logical.
Sure, there may be glimmers of logic and reason every now and then, but let’s not kid ourselves: cultural norms and systems are designed to control the things we are most naturally going to do. The very existence of creeds such as the Ten Commandments and The Golden Rule (and I use these examples respectfully) suggest that we humans need to be reigned in from our basest impulses.
Ariely shows this to be true again and again, with examples from his own life as a severe burn victim to situations in business to courtship to parenting to work.
I will be so bold as to suggest that the keys to success in life lie within the pages of Ariely’s book. The keys to success in marketing and entrepreneurship are certainly there. By studying and internalizing the patterns of human behavior — and there really aren’t too many patterns to memorize! — a person can do very well. (The moral issue arises when choices are made about how to use this information about human behavior: is it solely for personal gain (bad) or is there a broader, more benevolent impulse (good)? But this is a post in itself…)
One of my biggest take-aways from Predictably Irrational is this: In order to be remarkable, sometimes you have to do the opposite of what everyone around you is doing, even if it goes against the logical grain and puts you at social risk. In the end, each of us has to decide for ourselves what level of risk we are comfortable with relevant to the goals we have set for ourselves, and then act accordingly.
But last time I checked, anyone who is and was successful pushed past cultural norms and did not follow the path of least resistance. They instead did exactly the opposite.
Do you have any examples from your life when you did the opposite of what you believe you should have done? Please share those stories here to add to this conversation! And pass along the post if you feel it has value for others.
3 Cheers for the Opposite!
First visit to your site, AWESOME experience, i know i’ll be back for MUCH more!! Thanx for sharing!
I do believe it was Ziglar who said, Find what the masses are doing, and run the other way.
You’ve brought out this very basic principle: When the masses catch up with the opportunities of today, there’s something better they should be catching up with.
The world is moving fast, and we have to stay current, or take sides with the dinosaurs.
What have I done the opposite of what others around me do? well – become an entrepreneur. My friends still think I’m off my rocker.. lol
Mary Lou,
Excellent message you share here. So many people try to do what others expect them to do or what society dictates they “should” do. Being true to ourselves and following our heart regardless of what others say, do, or think about us is really where we will find true success and happiness. Thanks for adding value!
Krista
Thanks for stopping by, Christel! 🙂
The Jurassic Period was never one of my favorites. 🙂
That’s the spirit indeed! Rockin’ the boat and loving it! 🙂
The shoulds in life trip up so many people on their way to discovering what matters most. So grateful to be among people like you who are inspirational!
Mary Lou
Great post, I often don’t trust my insincts and so go with the opposite. I always seem to think differently from the pack and feel this has got me no where except doubt myself. I decided recently that I was just going to do everything the way I saw it and be tru to myself. Hard to stop the self doubt but will continue to try with the ecouragement of this post. Thanks.
Belinda
Mary Lou,
Kudos on a well done post about the irrational behaviors that drive us. Seinfeld was an example of everything that should not be normally done. I got a kick out of that episode too. 🙂
These “rules” quotes when they want you to conform are bunk. Like you said, nothing was ever accomplished by following the set norm. Stepping outside the norm and creating a new idea has lead many to success.
Keep ’em coming! Thinking for ourselves and following our instincts are what counts most!
Val 🙂
Thank you, Val! Learn the rules so you can break ’em has been my motto for years! So nice to know I have awesome company in this department! 🙂
Belinda, Conquering that internal doubtful voice is one of our biggest challenges…and no one is immune! Being aware of it is more than half the battle, so keep up the good work and never give in! 🙂
For me, getting my Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, Marriage and Family Living -before Ruth Westheimer and others made sex therapy a household name, was definitely going against the grain. Friends would giggle as they told someone else about my work. I actually took all my books out of my apt at that time and brought them to my college office so that people would not think I was strange. Even to this day, there are people that giggle about sexuality. And I find that those who “protest too much” are probably the ones with the most deep seated problems with intimacy.
One of my daily mantras in life is *Think Different*–it reminds me that I don’t necessarily need to follow what everyone else is doing per se, but rather to think for myself and follow my instincts.
Another trap that I have found to be true: in by going along with the crowd, there is a tendency to get involved in the viscous cycle of comparing yourself to what others in your *circle of influence* are doing, which in turn creates more self-imposed stress and anxiety in your life.
Go with what works for you. Trends will come and go, but as long as you stay true to yourself, you will be able to create the success and happiness that you deserve. 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing this Mary Lou…I’ll definitely have to get that book!
Heather
Great stuff Mary Lou. I’m so glad you we chatted and you went and got this book. It really shows how predicable humans and human emotions really are. Thanks for the great notes. Let’s chat again soon! =)
Great post Mary Lou, it is usually always best to do the opposite of the crowd, predictably is not always veracious! DR
So often I find myself following the crowd and the conventional wisdom. Somewhere along the line I catch myself and realize that I’m following a road over the cliff, behind a million other pilgrims.
Sometimes, though, we really are blinded by the present moment. How could I buy a house for $350,000 when just last year the current seller bought it for $250,000. I pass. 3 years later I find the same house on the market, this time for $550,000. Go figure.
I know I should have know better, so this time I go ahead and buy it for $550,000. 3 years later I try to sell it for $700,000 (perfect logic, no?). But I end up settling for $375,000.
In every single case, had I bucked the odds, I’d have profited. But being logical, safe and prudent… I lost everything.
So, I guess Georgie was right. If it’s the right time to buy… sell. It’s the right time to quit… join. Makes sense to go forward… step back. It’s just so predictably irrational, isn’t it?
AS much as we humans try to fight it, in the end, yes…we are about as predictable as the sun rising and setting each day! 🙂
Thank you, Doug, for your thoughts! I appreciate you!
Glenn, Yes, I am glad you led me to this book. It has opened my mind to a whole new dimension. I definitely want to chat again soon and catch up with what’s going on in your world! 🙂
Heather, Your mantra about thinking differently is powerful. I have learned from experience that over-thinking and over-analyzing things can prevent you from moving forward, and in many ways, can be a subconscious excuse for not doing anything. Being different isn’t easy, but when was the last time you heard of a person who had an easy life? It just isn’t possible. Might as well go with our gut and fail a time or two than sit around being safe and hanging with the chickens. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject!
Your story shows the power of making decisions that are right for you, despite what the social norms around you may say. I applaud your willingness to venture into a territory that so many see as weird or uncomfortable. Your work enhances our collective understanding of who we are. That is noble in itself! 🙂
Mary Lou, nobody could ever accuse you of not exploring the unknown. And that is precisely why you are at the top of my great Bloggers. It is so true what you laid out here. It goes hand in glove with a saying my mentor tells often me: “Nelson, everybody is born Unique, but most will die Copies” Thanks my lady for this important topic.
Hi Mary Lou,
Great info here and this is a book I am not familiar with so it’s always good to add to my list of must reads.
There’s a quote I’ve heard many time but I don’t know the original source. It goes; “the people that are successful in life are in the habit of doing the things unsuccessful people don’t want to do.”
Go against the grain, step outside you box, leave the herd, whatever it is just do it and you might be surprised with the result.
Excellent post Mary Lou ~ I greatly appreciate you sharing. I’m not an avid reader, however I plan to read “Predictably Irrational”. It is strange though to do the opposite of something and get positive results from it…can totally blow your mind sometimes! 😉 Christine
Really nice post! It’s a great book and another one that I thoroughly enjoyed was How We Decide by Jonah Lehrer. The challenge with going against the grain is to almost act against our natural tendencies. We are hardwired to follow the pack.
Janette
Hi Mary Lou,
Love Seinfield but I don’t think I ever saw that episode.
Going against the so called ‘norm’ requires courage and tenacity.
I think we have entered a new era, where profound opportunities that our parents never dreamed of are transforming existing dogma. And in the process, changing the game for those that are ready to take on the ‘new rules’.
Predictably Irrational sounds like a must read, so thanks for the review!
You always have the quirkiest lines…yet another gem here with “Everybody is born unique, but most will die copies.” Terrific addition here!
I have heard that line many times as well, Don. And I also can’t remember who it originates from! It is HARD to go against the grain and do what others won’t. The rewards are phenomenal, though, for anyone who does!
Hi Christine, You might also check out getting this book through audible.com, which allows you to listen to books through your smart phone or mp3 player. That’s how I “read” this book since I am on the road a lot and can get a lot more reading in that way. Thanks for stopping by!
I totally agree with you about the new set of rules developing right before our eyes. Timeless human principles will never disappear, but the Internet has changed everything from relationships to business to education to medicine. It is truly and exciting time to be an entrepreneur, that’s for sure, and with thinkers like Ariely throwing in their perspectives on economics, things are going to get even more exciting!