Have you ever heard the old phrase, “Truth is stranger than fiction?”
The Tiger Woods drama shows us exactly why this line rings true.
It would be hard to believe his story if it was presented in fiction form (and candidly, it’s difficult to believe it in non-fiction form!).
But once you get below the titillating surface of All Things Tiger, past the tabloid layers into the complex depths that make up all human beings, some important questions arise.
Questions about character. Questions about values and meaning and losing our way. Questions about influence and culture and expectations. Questions about authenticity.
While all these questions fascinate me, for the sake of time I am going to explore only the last one, the one about authenticity.
Living an authentic life is a goal many people set for themselves at some point. It is very compelling, a goal that challenges us to look deep within and identify clearly who we truly are, what we truly want, and why we want whatever that is. Yet when we set out to do this, we discover living authentically, indeed, is no easy task, especially in a culture that does everything in its power to distract us from achieving our goal. Add to this a hefty dose of celebrity and fame, the likes of which 99% of us will never know, and is it any wonder these people, these mere mortals, fall from grace so often?
As Tiger stated in his public confession/apology, temptations were always around him. He believed because of his success and fame that he was above the rules and could get away with whatever he wanted without any consequences. Hubris like Tiger’s, as so many classic works of literature show us, bring down more great men than just about any of the other 7 deadly sins.
These heroes always have blinders on that prevent them from seeing the Truth about themselves. Before they fall, what they fail to see is how disingenuous what they do is to their core selves. They do a superior job of rationalizing to themselves that they are entitled to whatever comes their way. Inevitably, they hurt others along their journey, and this is tragic, but they don’t hurt anyone nearly as much as they hurt themselves. If Tiger had been honest with himself, had he been living authentically as the superstar golfer and front man for numerous commercial products, he would have realized that having multiple affairs with women was not part of his authenticity, was not a reflection of his “true self,” but rather the very opposite: choices and behaviors disguised thinly as justifications that would ultimately cause him tremendous pain, suffering, and irreparable loss.
I don’t think Tiger’s philandering would have caused nearly the stir it did had he not been married with children. After all, the Playboy archetype is one found in just about every culture around the world. No, it is the violation of the sanctity of his marriage that angers so many and causes us to judge him. Part of being authentic is living up to the vows you make when entering into marriage as we define it in this culture. We collectively expect people, especially people as incredible as we believed Tiger was, to be authentic, and honest, and better in all ways than we are.
Shakespeare couldn’t have written this drama any better (no disrespect to the old bard). Only difference these days is the dramas that were once reserved solely for the stage are now transmitted into our living rooms and computers instantaneously as they unfold, second by second, play by play. We watch the dramas develop before our eyes — no time for the writer to edit. Technology makes our modern day dramas immediate, along with the fall of their heroes.
In the end, what the Tiger Woods drama can teach us about living an authentic life is this: We are each the hero of our own personal drama and it is ultimately up to us to make the right decisions for our lives based on who we know ourselves to truly be. Not who we think others think we are, or who we fantasize about being — but who we are when the lights are turned off and no one else is around. Not one of us is immune to what Tiger went through, or above the temptations that exist all around us. But all of us are fully capable of doing the things that will lead us to living an even richer, more authentic life each and every day, even if, like Tiger, we happen to lose our way.
Well put Mary Lou. When it is all boiled down what is left is perception of what the world sees. Authenticity is the only Badge worth wearing.
Mary Lou,
True transparency is something that is very rare to see in people. Thanks for the reminder to look to ourselves first before pointing fingers.
Val 🙂
True transparency is a challenge all of us face. Big stars like Tiger just have a bigger audience see them fall.
I think, Mary Lou, that everybody likes to judge the behavior of others… it’s entertaining, but also self-justifying to think that we’re better than others. It doesn’t make us bad, only human. I believe that unlimited Mercy is the domain of the Divine. We can aspire to it, and we should. We can try to cultivate it, and that makes us better people. But ultimately, we are far better served to walk our own path the best we can… and look to others only insofar as we can assist rather than judge. And, of course, most of us can only pray that we will be treated in the same manner.
David, You are so right on about focusing on our own path rather than the paths of others. The challenge we have in this culture is the constant bombardment we get from external sources about famous people. It is difficult NOT to know something about someone somewhere these days. And because these stories are such a part of our cultural landscape, we need to learn how to filter through them as best we can as we stay true to our own journey. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂